Let's start this year differently

I love this time of the year — there is hope in the air. I love it because we human beings are incredible at being resilient, making beliefs, and starting over. With a number changing on the calendar, hope emerges. A hope that this time, things could be different.

And I love it because, indeed, things can be different.

With that hope, many of us set new goals, make promises, and set intentions — aka New Year’s resolutions. And, of course, with these resolutions comes the rush: the rush of Instagram posts, LinkedIn posts, blog posts, TikTok trends, YouTube videos — coaches, influencers, writers, leaders, content creators, anyone really — talking about how to set “SMART” goals and implement the best habit-building systems so you can finally stick to your promises… this time.

(By the way, I don’t believe in SMART goals. I believe in setting realistic goals and taking smart actions. Come talk to me if you’re curious what I mean.)

This year, though, I wanted to look at the topic from a different angle.

Why do most of us fail to build those habits, stick to that diet, go to the gym, go to bed early, cultivate a more abundant mindset, or manifest the life we want? Why do so many of us bail on our goals — and, in doing so, on ourselves? Why do we keep feeling “stuck”?

What I learned during my coach training is that our beliefs determine how we feel about ourselves and the world. And how we feel determines how we act. So if we want to change our actions, we may need to change our beliefs first.

What’s interesting is that we hold a certain kind of energy around each belief. And if we want to let go of a belief and cultivate a new one — so we can act differently this year — we first need to release the energy attached to the old one.

And when I think about releasing and letting go, one word always comes up: forgiveness.

And every time I think about forgiveness, I think of this video.

So my question becomes:

What if we forgave ourselves for all the “stupid” things we’ve done?

What if we forgave ourselves for all the times we failed to build a new habit?

What if we forgave ourselves for all the times we fell back into the same old patterns?

Imagine, what if?

Because when we don’t forgive and release, we may end up trying to compensate for who we believe we are — as if we’re not good enough yet. As if, if only we changed this one thing this time, if only we stuck to that habit, then we would finally be different. Then we would finally be enough.

But maybe we’re already enough.

And maybe the way to truly believe that we are is through forgiveness — while recognizing what a remarkable act of self-kindness it is. Because forgiveness isn’t about someone else. It’s not even about what happened. It’s about how we choose to treat ourselves.

So before you dive into your New Year’s resolutions, I invite you to sit with me and stay in 2025 for a little longer. Let’s take the time to forgive ourselves — not to justify what hurt us or how we may have hurt others; not to tolerate what holds us back; and not to forget the lessons we’ve learned — but to release what no longer serves us.

So we can start anew — lighter, fresher — and from there, move forward.This time, not from guilt, hurt, or shame, but from kindness, love, and support.

And if, along the way, you fail to stick to your resolutions again, remember to be kind to yourself. Forgive. Release. Learn. Start again. Knowing that you are enough already — and that moving forward will still take you somewhere better.