Connect to one to connect to many

I have been slowing down recently. And that created space — a space that gave room for a lot of different topics. One topic that definitely stood out is relationships. And within relationships, I noticed a concept that became relevant for many different reasons: connecting with one person means connecting to many.

First of all, when it comes to relationships, I tend to believe that as soon as we meet someone, we start a relationship. It may not look like it in the typical sense of the word, but we - as human beings - relate to one another, and that starts the moment we meet. How far and how deep we want to take each relationship depends on multiple factors, of course. Whether it lasts a lifetime or a brief small talk, a relationship opens so many doors — and here is why:

When we meet someone, we do not only meet that person. We step into a much wider human landscape. Every individual carries with them layers of connection, experience, and influence that extend far beyond what we see in the first moment. In that sense, no meeting is ever just a meeting between two people — it is an encounter between many lives, many stories, and many unseen threads.

There are two ways this becomes visible:

• Their network: Every person is connected to friends, family, colleagues, mentors, communities, and cultures. By connecting with one individual, we are presented with the opportunity to meet new people. It might be as simple as a friend recommending a "makelaar" that they worked with and were very happy with — helping you get high-quality service while hunting for a new home in the challenging Dutch housing market. Or it might be something far more life-changing: being introduced to the love of your life, making a new best friend, or being referred to a coach and discovering your life’s purpose (this literally happened to me).

• Their stories — the ones they collected from others: A person is never only their own experiences. They carry lessons, beliefs, wounds, and wisdom passed on from countless interactions. In this sense, one person is always bigger than one person. When we listen deeply, we often hear echoes of many voices speaking through one. Sometimes it is as simple as a friend talking about a new exercise routine they heard about from someone else — and you suddenly realize this is exactly what you have been looking for. And sometimes, it is a profound story that inspires you to follow your heart and finally start the business you have been dreaming about for ages.

This is why having new connections opens up entirely new worlds. Each new relationship offers a fresh lens through which we can see life — different ways of thinking, feeling, solving problems, and making meaning. At the same time, rediscovering existing relationships brings depth. When we slow down and truly reconnect with people already in our lives, we often uncover stories we never knew or perspectives that were never shared before. Or we get to be part of their ever-growing circle — witnessing who they are becoming and growing alongside them.

All of this requires something essential: curiosity to meet someone and get to know them, presence to be open to new opportunities and stories, and the ability to combine the two through high-quality listening. This kind of listening is not about waiting to respond or to be right. It is about being fully present and genuinely curious. When we choose to keep our relationships high-quality in this way, we are presented with surprising opportunities and invited to grow ourselves. We show up more consciously, more openly, and more powerfully — not only for others, but also for who we are becoming. And as a bonus, life becomes easier thanks to those around us — and those around them.

I want to leave you with one final thought: even when we are the most alone, we are never truly alone. We carry so many people - and so many different versions of ourselves - with us at all times. Maybe this is why it is said that each of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be. And maybe this is also why, from time to time, we sense that we are all connected — and, in some way, one.